Okay, this was initially entitled something far more dramatic, but really this is more a change than an end to things, and I’m doing my best to reframe things like that in my head as I think it’ll be good for me.
Okay so as most of you should now know (it’s been posted to facebook and hence is true) my beautiful boyfriend will sadly be no longer living in Lancaster as of the end of the month really, instead moving far away to the lands of Durham to study for his epic PhD.
And I’m glad for him on that front, but while I’m kind of excited by him doing research again (he’s really awesome when he’s academicing) and the meeting new people in a new town thing sounds kind of exciting its also a whole scary experience where he’ll no longer be right here where I can hug him. And it’s more than that, there’s going to be a big hole in my current schedule which normally includes stuff relating to him, so the half the week or so we tend to hang out I’ll be doing other things or chatting over skype with him, the Sunday evenings where the polycule gathers to watch crime shows and eat together and chit chat … well chances are he’ll be far away or on trains heading home for those evenings and I’d gotten kind of used to being able to just wander casually between my place and his if I left something behind in one of them, and now it’s looking like I’ll need to pack carefully and take long train journeys or drives.
But still – we both knew it was going to happen sooner or later, our relationship has always been built on a certain amount of risk and uncertainty, we got together pretty much as we were both starting to move forward in transition stuff and we’ve never been sure if we’d end up living so close for so long, where our lives would take us or even if we’d be attractive to the other persons tastes 6 months from then. But from that we’ve actually grown to be living in each others pockets more or less for the past three or so years so adjusting to getting used to being at the other end of a phone rather than the other end of a 5m walk will take some doing.
I’ve done distance relationships before when Mish was off travelling and working overseas and it kind of sucks, but in other ways its kind of fun sometimes, knowing that someone is there and you’ll see them again, but in the meantime you’ve got so much free time for things, but I find having a definite end date can help that, gives you something to look forward to and schedule projects around that are in the free time I guess, and the thing is he’s off for a PhD and then who knows, so its not really on a definite timescale.
Anyway, general update – been trying to get my head around it since it became increasingly the more common option in the past couple of months and especially now its become a certain thing, so if I’m a bit weird here’s just one more reason to add to the pile :)