So on the way to the pub last night me and were looking a particular combination of fabulous (him) and kind of okay (me), I’d had a long day but had donned my mighty femme armour in an effort to feel okay enough to go out having used up a whole bunch of my bravery earlier going swimming (in public no less, it was … kind of weird actually but I think I could possibly do it in more sensible settings in future with more prep and different things to wear (i.e. a swimming cap and maybe doing the rash guard/board shorts combo), its the first time I’ve managed to go swimming in like 15 years. I used to really enjoy it when I was young, but some time in my mid teens it just became progressively more squicky for reasons that weren’t clear at the time so I just stopped).
Anyway, as we were walking out of the car park arm in arm a couple of gently intoxicated young men passed us, they initially didn’t react, but then when they got closer clearly noticed we were due more than the usual amount of ignoring and we heard the “what the fuck” that started their conversation before they speculated between them on our genders which we caught the edge of (“war something” I think was mentioned but I’m guessing that was a mishearing), but they were walking one way, us the other, so we missed the meat of it.
Now the joy of living in Lancs is of course that its really mostly a relaxed place, I didn’t have much fear of getting assaulted by them, or that they’d throw things or shout too much at me, so I just wandered by. But I kept replaying the encounter and trying to work out what they said, and it kept coming back to me.
I think I’ve worked out why (well why I was so interested rather than anything else). Normally me and Lee get read as a gay couple, and hence slide under the radar of notice rarely getting a second look. But I think my presentation has finally started crossing the line from “slightly effeminate gay guy” into a weird something else limbo, I’m finally starting to get read as trans more and more by passers by.
And as odd as it sounds I kind of don’t mind, I feel like I’m at least making progress even if it means the occasional what the fuck from drunk guys.