So they had a substance called “unobtainium”, I’m not shitting you. I could have written the whole plot out after seeing the first 5 minutes of it, in fact I’ve written that mind-transfer stuff and floating islands thing a decade ago in short scribbles. Although the biological linking thing was really groovy.

However that doesn’t matter, because it was epic to a degree I’ve not seen in a film in a long time. Mix equal parts Veitnam films, Aliens, Zulu, Braveheart, etc. Stir well and add a topping of romance, action, killing your heros, tropegasm, eco-goodness and gratuitous gaia theory and bake for about 3 frigging hours.

Epic, well worth a watch, I can see how it’d work in 3D.

8 thoughts on “Avatar

  1. petemonster

    This is the review I keep hearing, almost word for word.

    I’m really not sure if I actually want to spend money on this thing. I have a fairly low tolerance for banal dialogue, which this film apparently has in spades. I keep getting told that the sheer spectacle more than makes up for the lack of any writing skill being displayed, and I find myself feeling skeptical. In spite of the bewildering number of positive reviews, I haven’t seen even one that had a single positive thing to say about the script, or even the technical aspects of the directing, beyond the wizardry and spectacle on display.

    I guess I’ll have to see it at some point, if only to see if my dismal predictions have been confirmed. The stupid thing is, I really don’t want to hate it; it’s a James Cameron film, and I fucking love James Cameron’s films. The only bad film this man has ever made was Piranha II, and that wasn’t even his fault. But every single piece of promotional material I’ve seen for Avatar has just made me less and less interested.

    1. archangelonline

      The problem I’ve had in recent years with films that are described using the words ‘sheer spectacle’ is that they suck when you watch them on a big screen.

      All it means is that those special effects shots are moving really fast and so, with your inability to see everything on a cinema screen in a single glance, you’ll also be tracking your eyes across an already blurred screen and WHOAWHATTHEFUCKDIDANIMPORTANTCHARACTERJUSTGETSHOTINTHEFACE?

      I’m perverse in that I prefer to watch ‘spectacular’ films on a television.

      Still, if anyone organises an epic Lancastrian cinema trip, I shall be along, work permitting.

        1. archangelonline

          Good point. There’s a reason he does very good action movies – Terminator, Aliens, the more chaotic moments of Titanic, even. He loves showing you things, which is what some CG-heavy movies forget about.

          1. caerwiden

            Some non-CG films do it too, like the section in Batman begins where Batman is fighting the mobsters in the dock. I think it’s ‘supposed’ to be blurry, but it’s still pretty annoying.

            Transformers 2 was the worst for it.

    2. caerwiden

      I wouldn’t say that any of the dialogue was banal. I mean, the whole thing is fairly predictable when you get to a certain point but I was never bored when people were talking.


Leave a Reply