Almost packing it all in…

Well I felt knackered today, and had a fun meeting with my Supervisor were we agreed on 2 things.
A) I’d missed the really fine conference for my architecture paper.
B) If my security paper isn’t up to snuff I’m going to get eaten alive at a security conference.

These coupled with C) They won’t accept my Thesis without papers being accepted by the outside world because they have little idea what I’m talking about leads me to conclusion 1.

1. I sometimes really wish I wasn’t part of academia. To be fair at times I wish I wasn’t working in any technical post so I could be an elitist git with my own systems and whenever someone says “Hey I’ve got this problem with X” I can just laugh in their face.


The whole business of writing papers and getting them into conferences before I’ve really got any results to discuss just grinds me down, I fear with no proper data (read: a working chunk of software and some good results from poking it) I’ll get ripped apart quite soundly. Or at least I should. It just feels like a backwards method of doing things.


Still it reminds me, I had a conversation the other day with someone about programming, they asked me if I wasn’t afraid I would one day get tired of it.

To me thats rather an odd question, it seems that hacking about with code and systems is a continually growing problem. Sure I may one day get tired of writing dull code for cash but getting tired with programming and faffing systems? Seems a little unlikely, although I may one day get distracted by other things in life more than I’d like, but then there is never enough time to do anything with enough concentration and practice in my experience, you just have to balance things.

It seems rather like asking a writer “Aren’t you worried that you’ll get bored of writing?” I mean they may get bored if they’re knocking up text to pay the bills for any-old reason (blurb on things, dull step-by-step instructions, reviews of flowerpots for “What Pot Monthly!” that kind of thing) but to suggest they’d get bored of combining ideas and things in a changing and evolving state seems just strange.

Or perhaps I’m just young and silly, time shall tell. Still after a batch of good productive writing, a film and a nice dinner courtesy of housemates I’m feeling more confident about the whole thing. Perhaps I can get this PhD afterall.

(p.s. Wow, my first bit of angst on Livejournal wasn’t it? Lawks I feel like a proper person-who-updates-their-homepage-with-a-nice-interface).

7 thoughts on “Almost packing it all in…

  1. camellia_uk

    *grins* welcome on board the angst-wagon :-)
    I do feel your pain about all things academic though. But three things to remember:
    1) you don’t actually need to get any papers accepted, they just need to be written, and ‘of publishable quality’.
    2) academia is a pile of poo, most of which is concerned with silly faffing of paperwork, bluffing of data and generally bullshitting your way to the top.
    3) everyone else is going through the exact same thing. Even your supervisors. Mine frequently make up data, write papers the night before a deadline while drunk, get papers thrown out for being completly arse. It’s either very disturbing or very comforting, depending on which way you choose to look at it :-)

    1. mostlyfoo

      Nah, I’ve written the requisite paper and had it published in PGNet (Conference for fresh newbie postgrads) last year.

      These are ones that my supervisor wants written and preferably accepted before they’ll accept my theeeesis, unconnected with the ones that Uni wants.

      As for 2 and 3 blagging things is true, but I still feel I’m going to get ripped apart if these things are below par.

      Its just the “writing before doing” thing that bugs me, I mean I’ve got a couple of tables of numbers saying that my idea is probably better, but I’ve not implemented it yet so whose to say?

      Ahh well, it’ll all work out in the end I expect.


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